Many of us have played that toxic “If only” game with ourselves – consciously or subconsciously. You may know the game – it is based on a host of obsessive thoughts constructed by our strong wish that things could be different:
“If only I had more money, I’d be happy. . . If only I got that promotion, I’d be happy. . . If only I could meet that special someone, I’d be happy. . .”
It is such a seductive game, because the attainment of our desired goals and objectives often does make us feel good. . . for a while. Like a sugar rush, these milestones and things energize and revitalize us for a time, but since they lack the power to make us inherently happy and are subject to all kinds of reversals of fortune, we inevitably come crashing down. When we hinge our happiness on specific results and outcomes, we set ourselves up for a life of enervating up-and-down emotional cycles, never really being happy and at peace because we make our happiness dependent on specific things that may not happen, or in the blink of an eye, could be taken away from us.
